As I Was
by gortaithe
Summary: this is some very old fanfiction works  2000ish , just thought to re-post them to fanfiction. this is about lemon and romance fluff... read at your own risk... no really, at your own risk.
1. Chapter 1

AN: I Don t Own Rurouni Kenshin. This is for entertainment purposes only.

It had been five days since the wedding and Kaoru still felt disbelief. It was done and she was no longer alone. Kenshin had come into her life and she didn t have to worry about anything anymore. He promised her so. Things went back to normal, soon afterwards. She trained Yahiko and Kenshin still did laundry in the morning before he left to work. Today progressed as any day would. Kaoru sat outside on the porch sipping on the tea Kenshin made for her before he left. Her thoughts turned to the looming clouds in the distance. Soon there would be an awful storm and she cringed at the thought of all the mud and water that would later accumulate into the dojo. She shrugged. It wasn t such a problem. She just hated for visitors to see her dojo dirty. She took a deep breath and stood. Then she heard the visitor bell chime just outside the gate.

*Who could that be?* She wondered. Sano had come by earlier. It couldn t be him. The wind started to pick up and send sand into the air around her. She pulled up her hand to shield her eyes. She opened her gate and felt her mouth gape open at her visitor.

"Misao!" Kaoru exclaimed upon seeing the young woman. There Misao stood in all her motherly glory. She was dressed in a kimono and it hid her pregnancy well. She smiled prettily as she walked into Kaoru s embrace. The wind picked up again and sent Misao s loose hair flying about. They separated and Kaoru led Misao into the guest room to get away from the violent weather.

"I am so glad you came to see me." Kaoru said. "I have been by myself about the go crazy without conversation."

"Me, too." Misao said as she slowly settled onto the mat. "Aoshi went to the police station to visit with some acquaintances." She smiled again.

"Can I get you anything Misao?"

"I am fine for now. Let s just sit and talk. I am too tired to do anything else." She giggled. "Besides I promised you a story, didn t I?"

"You sure did." Kaoru said as she sat anxiously. "Tell me everything. Don t leave anything out."

"Don t worry, I won t. Now where should I begin?" Misao said as she touched her chin, pondering.

"Well it really started when I ran to him after the fight with Shishio ."  
>******<p>

Aoshi had already entered a certain daze by the time they had reached the town. Sano kept Kenshin on his shoulders as he slipped in and out of consciousness. Throughout the journey he tried to push aside all the thoughts of Okina. What he did to him was inexcusable but every time he thought of that day his heart would ache more with the thought of Misao when he treated her so coldly that day. Then he kept remembering Kenshin s words about no one wanted Aoshi to die. No one wanted revenge. They just wanted him back and healthy in mind and spirit. He counted on it and hoped for it.

The thought of Misao crying over him made him feel even more guilt but as always he hid it behind his stoic fa ade. Before he knew it he was in town and walking toward the Aoiya. He felt a strange twist in his gut when he saw the ruined restaurant but was somewhat relieved when he saw the group of people sitting in front. Kaoru, Yahiko, Okina, a man he had never seen before with an awkward coat, and Misao. They hadn t noticed him yet and he just continued walking, assessing with his eyes the full extent of the damages. They were just sitting there resting and waiting. Then the man with the strange coat spotted them in the distance. He saw Misao turn her gaze in his direction and her face began to change. Aoshi could see her eyes light up the moment she spotted them amidst the threesome. Then she began to cry, with the biggest smile on her face. It was the oddest thing Aoshi had ever seen. Misao s smile and tears were for him. Even after what he had done. Then they started to run towards them. Kaoru sobbing with worry, her voice laced with gratefulness. Then Misao s voice seem to sing above the rest of them. She ran as fast as she could holding her obviously broken ribs. Aoshi wanted to yell out to her, to tell her to stop running with her injury but he knew she wouldn t have heard him.

"Lord Aoshi, you came back. You came back!" Her voice lifted over and over. The pain in her ribs was gone compared to the joy she felt now. Her lord, her love was back home. She slammed herself into his body and cried tears of happiness into his clothes.

Aoshi really didn t know how to react. His face kept its ridged pose but his heart was breaking to actually see these big tears Kenshin had told him about. His arm came up as if on its own and tenderly placed his hand on the back of her head and pressed her closer, so she could weep close to his heart. He kept his features taunt as ever but he could do nothing to still the rapid beating of his breaking heart.

Misao couldn t believe it! He didn t try to push her away, to reject her. He held her to him. Misao could see Kaoru crying through the layers of Aoshi s coat. She had already pulled Kenshin s free side over her shoulder to help carry Sano s burden. Yahiko just danced nervously backwards making sure that Kenshin was indeed alive. Then she heard Kaoru tenderly assuring Kenshin that she was ok and that she was right there.

"Misao." Aoshi said quietly. Misao stopped her weeping and looking up at him. He said her name the way he used to when she was a child, crying from a bad nightmare. Only this time it was saturated with so many other emotions that she couldn t even place one of them.

Aoshi s stone like expression always made it seem as though he was very simple, thinking simple things, feeling very little. But with his voice she could hear his heart. At least Misao always felt she could. That is why she knew he had a smile.

Somewhere.

When he had said her name she felt a pull so strong and deep that she wanted to start weeping again. She just stared up at him and smiled, showing him that she was done crying now. He acknowledged it with a gentle nod and released his tender grip from her hair. She just stood in awe looking at him as he made his way to Okina and the others.

The place where he had his hand tingled from his touch. She couldn t help her blush. "Lord Aoshi " she whispered into the dark as the world seemed to stop for just a moment. Hope bloomed in her heart and she knew that everything was going to be alright. 


	2. Chapter 2

AN: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin. This is for entertainment purposes only. BTW, I read very little of the Revenge Arc of Rurouni Kenshin so I am not really sure how it all hapened. So I lightly elude to that part of the Manga. *Spoilers*

That is until Kaoru got kidnapped by Enishi. Things had settled considerably at the Aoiya. Aoshi turned to prayer and meditation to ease his tired heart. He stayed there until he got word of the Enishi incident. Misao had tried and tried to get him to leave the temple, to do things, to get out once and while, but it was no good. Aoshi stayed and politely told her no. For months they had only shared air space and very few words. It was enough to discourage Misao s quest to make him smile, but she didn t give up.

She was too stubborn for that.

Then lo and behold a single message from her friends in Tokyo had caused Aoshi to leave immediately. It was really disheartening to Misao, but she kept it to herself during the fight. It had ended almost horribly. Kenshin was almost defeated and he was so weary with wounds but it didn t stop him from falling into Kaoru s open arms. Misao saw at that moment how much Kaoru really meant to Kenshin, but he was being selfish with his feelings. Perhaps all men were like that. She even noticed something stir in Aoshi that day when he was watching along with Misao the tender scene. But when they went back home to the Aoiya, Aoshi quickly settled back into his meditation routine. Misao wanted to scream at him and tell him everything she was feeling, but she knew it wasn t going to get her anywhere. She just wanted to focus on being there for him but she often wondered if he would ever pull through the heavy weight of guilt in his heart.

Day after day he meditated. Before they had left to help Kenshin with Enishi, Misao had always stayed near the temple where Aoshi was. She sometimes even went inside and brought him tea and snacks. But now, since they had come back, she came inside the temple everyday. At first she always kept her distance, but a few weeks went by and she felt braver with each passing moment. Soon she was sitting near him on the mats just watching him with his eyes closed in deep meditation. He was so handsome to her she could watch him forever and never get tired of it. Not only that but he didn t seem to mind her being there, so close to him. Sometimes she would close her eyes and join him. She envisioned herself as a very bright star and Aoshi as a lost being who was stumbling around the darkness below. With her mind she called out to him over and over. Telling him that everything was going to be alright to take her hand and let her lead for him. After she would do that, she would swear she noticed something different in Aoshi. His eyes always seemed to be a little less hazy and dazed when he opened them at the end of his session.

One day while she was trying to help find his way her mind and spirit were overcome by the love she felt for the man sitting across from her. Then she was taken by hopelessness and despair. He wasn t getting any better and even if he did everything she was doing was all in vain. He didn t love her. If he got better, she felt she would disappear. So why was she even there? He didn t even ask for her help. Then she got mad. Mad at herself for being so foolish. She clenched her eyes shut trying to stop the tears. It wouldn t do for Aoshi to see her cry like a little baby. Just because things weren t going her way. With a small huff she rose from the floor and walked away from him. He didn t even seem to notice her leave. It broke her heart even more. *******

Aoshi had settled into his usual position and closed his eyes. Subconsciously he waited for Misao to show up before lunch but his eyes snapped open when he realized she hadn t come. Suddenly, he didn t feel like meditating anymore. It was unsettling to think that the reason he lost interest in his meditations was because Misao hadn t showed up. Perhaps he was just worried about her, she was always a creature of habit it seemed and when she didn t follow up it worried him. He stood and stretched out his stiff legs and realized with a start how weak he was becoming from lack of exercise. Not only that but he was hungry as well. He was going to have to go the Aoiya anyway, he might as well check up on Misao and see if she was well. She had left rather hastily the day before.

As he exited the temple he felt the feather light drops of rain. His brow knitted in confusion. Misao would always be there with an umbrella but today she was not. Something was definitely amiss. Everything since the moment he opened his eyes just seemed out of place. He quickened his pace toward the Aoiya.

As he entered the Aoiya he went to the kitchen, knowing that the rest of the gang would be there. Sweet little Omasu handed him a plate of food as he walked in and gave him a shy smile. Aoshi nodded as he thanked her. The way Omasu smiled at him sparked his curiosity, she knew something. She knew something about Misao and why she was acting so odd. He noticed right away that Misao was not present.

"Where is Misao?" he asked as monotone as he possibly could. Okina looked up from his plate and nodded toward the road. Omasu spoke quickly as if she were waiting for Aoshi to ask that question.

"Misao, left this morning to go to the forest to train. She said she felt herself getting weak. There is no telling how long she may stay."

"I see." Aoshi flatly stated. He rarely ever sat with the group to eat, but today he had to make an exception. He would never admit it, but he craved conversation, or at least to hear others converse. When he kneeled to sit there was a nervous silence but Okina happily exclaimed, "I am glad you could join us today."

It seemed no matter how much time went by, Aoshi could never rightly look Okina in the eyes again. Not after what he did. Even after Okina went out of his way to show Aoshi that he forgave him. It would just have to take more time.

The conversation went from crude jokes to what the plans were in the future, to the weather. Only when Misao s name came up did Aoshi truly listen. They were worried about her. She used to always be so cheerful and happy, now she had become sullen and depressed. Aoshi was surprised at their revelation. He didn t think it was possible for someone like Misao to get depressed. He almost wanted to chide everyone for using the word depressed and Misao in the same sentence. He almost dropped his bowl of soup. Why did that anger him so much? He stood as soon as soon as he finished.

"Thank you." He said as he made his way out of the kitchen. His thoughts turned to Misao and he played back every moment he could remember about her and realized that she had been acting rather glum. It wasn t until after they had gotten back from Tokyo, after the Enishi incident. She was fine. She even meditated with him. She shouldn t be doing as badly as the others said she was. Something was upsetting her.

As if on cue Misao came out of the almost hidden train on the side of the Aoiya. Nearly running into Aoshi. Her face was red and sweaty, her clothes were soaking wet and her featured scrunched up in the most angry scowl Aoshi had ever seen on her. As soon as she recognized him her face quickly changed to embarrassment then she smiled broadly. "I am sorry, Lord Aoshi. I wasn t looking."

"Don t worry about it." He said calmly. He saw that she was going to bound away in a second so he spoke to halt her. "Misao, is there anything upsetting you?" he asked in earnest. Misao stiffened and turned to face him, he could see the apprehension in her eyes. What was she so afraid of?

Misao could tell he truly wanted to know. There was no way she could tell him the truth. How could she? It would end terribly. He would most definitely think of her as a fool. "Upsetting me? No, I don t think so." she said mentally smacking herself. He was actually curious about her and she was lying to him.

"You are lying." He could see the guilt all over her features. He could also see the apparent war she was having with herself as well. Whatever was bothering her just started recently. Otherwise he would have noticed it. Her mouth worked as though she were trying to say something but the words just wouldn t move.

" Lord Aoshi . I .. I.." Misao looked at him with stubborn tears in her eyes, "I just can t tell you." She finally said looking away from his piercing gaze. He decided to change the subject.

"How did the training go today?"

"Very well, not as long as I had hoped, but I feel much better now. Thank you for asking Lord Aoshi." At least she didn t have to lie to him about that. She was thankful for his insightful change of subject.

"You don t need to keep calling me Lord. You are the Leader now." he said gently. Misao now sported an appalled look. Like he had just asked her to stop breathing.

"No matter what happens you will always be my leader, Lord Aoshi. Besides, I just couldn t manage you calling me Lord Misao." Misao couldn t believe it! Aoshi started to smirk. A smile teased his lips at the thought of calling her Lord Misao. She started to laugh aloud. A mental image appeared out of no where. A subservient Aoshi bowing to her and calling her Lord and in her mind she could see herself commanding him to smile.

"I don t think you could manage either, Lord Misao." He turned to leave a stunned Misao behind.

*Did he just make a joke?* she thought incredulously to herself. "Lord Aoshi " She whispered at his back. He was getting better. She just knew it.


	3. Chapter 3

AN: Don't own Rurouni Kenshin.

Misao couldn t change her mind about leaving him to meditate alone from now on. She needed the exercise, and he needed to know that she wasn t bent to his every whim, whether he voiced them or not.

******  
>"UUHHHGGGG!" Misao yelled at the board she saw before her. Her kunai throwing was getting worse, as was everything else she was practicing. She completely missed the bulls eye on all seven targets. She knew why too, Aoshi was on her mind, like he had been all week. She had only seen him at lunch, when he came to the Aoiya to grab a bite to eat then he would leave to the temple.<p>

Didn t he get it! Didn t he realize that she had stopped coming? She wanted more than anything for him to ask her what was wrong again. She was mad enough to just blurt it out and get it over with. "DAMN IT!" she yelled aloud. Then she snapped her head to the sound of the door opening. If she wasn t so agitated she would have swooned at the sight before her.

There stood Aoshi with his training clothes on. Training clothes, not temple robes? Misao found herself getting angry at him and she didn t know why. She didn t smile at him, she walked to the boards to get her knives. As she pulled them out she spoke harshly to him.

"If you think for one second I am going to leave my training because you are getting bored of meditating and you want to train, you have got another thing coming." She wanted to suck the words back into her mouth the moment she said them. Instead she kept her features stern and unyielding. Aoshi showed nothing besides the usual unsmiling face and ice blue eyes. Then he spoke. Kindly.

"I would never imply such a request to my leader. However, I would like to join you in your training." He knew it may be like this with her, but he had to do it. While meditating he realized that he was the reason she was depressed. She probably had so many expectations when he had returned and all he had done was pamper to his own needs while putting hers aside. Selfishly. He had to make it up to her. Especially, after he realized just how much she meant to him.

"Are you mocking me?" She said, anger edged her voice. Then a flicker of emotion shadowed his face. It was confusion and maybe even hurt. She relaxed the angry scowl on her face and softened her features.

"No. I am absolutely serious." Why was he humbling himself to her like this? She sighed and gave him a slight smile.

"I was going to do my Kenpo Katas." (I don t know if that is spelled right, but Kata is like a dance with most of the basic moves in that particular style being studied)

"Guide me." He said in earnest. Misao was shocked for a moment. What is his deal? Not that she was angry, but she felt that she would end up being the fool if she let this little game he was playing get to her. She tried very hard not to hope and read to much into it. After all, this is exactly what she had wanted, she should be happy. So then she began and tuned him out as best as she could.

She started and she could still feel his presence behind her, mimicking her every move to perfection. She wondered if he was actually critiquing her form. She shoved the thought away, it was distracting her.

Aoshi kept rhythm with her and followed her precisely and in his mind he remembered teaching these forms to her himself. She was so young and willing to learn. Like most children. He noticed that her movements were accurate and exact. Even her footing was correct while his had become lazy and incorrect. After all this time she kept his teachings, and now she was showing him that she remembers. He realized after a while as she ended and began another form, she was only doing the ones that he had taught her. Every move was perfect and he followed as he said he would. Keeping with her slow time.

During the week he had meditated he couldn t concentrate. Misao s absence was proving to be quite a distraction. Not only that, he felt that in so many ways he had recovered as much as he could with meditation. It was time to pick up his training again, but not in the same maniacal way he had before. He remembered the peaceful times before he left the Aoiya, when Misao was still a child and his comrades were alive. Teaching was a wonderful distraction from the disappointment he felt. That is why he taught Misao and the rest of his group. Beshimi, Hoyotoko, Shikijo, and Hannya, not only were they his friends and students but they were also his teachers as well.

His heart didn t constrict like it used to when he thought about them. After reflection and meditation he was finally able to let them go. Without them to hold on to, he now had time for himself. That is when he couldn t focus anymore. He tried very hard to remember himself, as he was before, but he had forgotten himself, or rather lost himself. Then he had a strange realization. In essence, Misao was the only one left alive that knew him as he was before. She was his last comrade and he was letting her slip away in a fate worse than death.

That is how he came to be with her, training with her. He wanted to remember, more than anything, how to just feel again.

Before he knew it, she was done and she turned to look at him, seeking out his approval. She wanted him to criticize her. To tell her what she did right or wrong. Aoshi just gave her a blank expression, there was nothing to condemn. She performed very well.

"So why did you want to train today?" she asked him timidly.

"While meditation is good for the mind and soul, it doesn t do well for the body." he said dapping away at the sweat that was making its way into his eyes.

"..oh.." There she goes again, getting to hopeful. To think that he was training with her because he wanted to be WITH her was just a silly notion after all.

He directed his stare at the target boards. "It looks like your kunai skills need work." he said more to himself than to criticize her. Next thing he knew a knife flew past his ear and took a single sliver of hair landing in the wall behind him. His eyes widened with shock.

"I am always on target when it counts." She said smiling cruelly. "You really have no idea how capable I have become." She pulled her sash on tighter and tightened her braided hair. Aoshi grew curious, and Misao could see the question in his eyes.

He could see that Misao wanted to spar with him. To show him. He was a little apprehensive about fighting with her. He didn t want to hurt her, but she said she was capable.

"You want to spar?"

"GLADLY!" she said giving him very little warning as she ran up with fist raised. Aoshi had to admit, she had gained incredible speed since he had last seen her fight, he barely had time to move out of her way.

Then he saw her spin and throw an elbow strike to his head. He blocked and grabbed her arm and hooked it tightly with in his elbow. He grabbed her hand and used a pressure point to keep her arm still. She jumped and flipped forward in his grasp so that the grip on her hand wasn t so painful and she could break free.

For a moment her back was to him and he went in with another punch and grab combo with his left arm but before he could grab at her neck she moved just slightly and blocked grabbing his arm and used his own momentum to pitch him forward into her leg that was outstretched to trip him. She landed her elbow into his back, near his kidneys to push him even further into her leg.

But he did not fall, instead he shifted his weight and elbowed her in the back of the neck, but she ducked. He missed! She had let go of his arm when she saw what he was going to do and ducked. Then she flipped away from him. Again she rushed him this time with a kick in mind.

He caught her right leg easily but with her left leg alone she managed to leap up and backwards almost kicking him in the chin. Again she had landed away from him. He understood that she was not going for power strikes but rather pressure points. And she was doing it with amazing speed. If she were armed with her kunai it would have been over for most.

Again she rushed but Aoshi had already made it to her. Then he seemed to disappear but she knew better, he was using the speed of his Kyten Kenbu. He was behind her and she prepared to jump away but he was too quick. He grabbed underneath both of her arms and with his hands grabbed her ears along with some of her hair. She tried to slip down and out but the hold on her ears kept her from trying any harder. She tried scratching at his hands but the angle was all wrong. She tried stomping on his foot, but he didn t seem to notice, or she was just too light to make a difference.

She was feisty! She wasn t kidding, she was quite a handful. She was fighting out of anger, which sometimes wasn t such a bad thing. It kept you alert and clear minded. But why was she so angry?

"You are doing very well." He said only to be answered with a rage filled scream, "I AM NOT FINSIHED YET!"

The next few milliseconds were very much a blur to him. He remembered feeling her arms clasp behind his neck and then the load of her struggling just disappeared and for a moment she was weightless. Then he barely saw her knee come up to smack him in the nose. Hard. It dazed him and let her go. She fell gracelessly on her back with a thud but quickly rose to her feet. It had happened so fast! He could barely see it.

He felt the blood gush from his nose, it felt broken! Then he felt himself almost lose consciousness from the blow. He took a deep breath as he slouched forward, tears stinging his eyes. Then, incredulously, Misao rushed him again.

So that is how she wants to spar.

He stood upright and anticipated her blow, then she stopped and waited, dancing on the balls of her feet. It seemed that she waited for her opponents to throw the first punch, that way she was always in control. She had managed to learn how to read people from their first move. But since he didn t move, she had nothing to go on this time. Now, it was going to get interesting.

But he counted on her impatience. There was a slight stand still and not a sound could be heard, not even their breathing. Then she attempted a slight hop forward in hopes that he would throw something. But he didn t even flinch. Then he moved in for a punch to her stomach. It contacted but she spun to deflect it. He counted on that as well. She wasn t the only one who could read their opponent.

He grabbed her arm in the direction of her spin and with her momentum lent her crashing to the ground. Her body made a sickening sound as it pounded the floor. Aoshi had pulled her arm up and pressed both his knee and his other hand into her back.

"Do you yield?" He asked her, knowing what her answer would be.

"NO!" Aoshi pulled her arm up further.

"AAAHHH!"

"Misao, don t be foolish." Blood dripped off of his chin and into her hair and slightly up turned face. Suddenly, she realized that she had drawn blood. It was just supposed to be for sport. It was only a spar. What was she doing? He was only finishing it, finishing what she started. Her anger left her in a rush and the fight went out of her.

" yield " she said and he quickly loosened his grip. He stood and beheld her with his eyes.

"Misao, where is all of this rage of yours coming from?" he asked her crumpled form. She pulled her arms up to brace herself and slowly rose to her feet. She met his steady gaze with a piercing look of her own.

"I can t tell you, Lord Aoshi. I am sorry."


	4. Chapter 4

AN: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin. This is for entertainment only.

"I can t tell you, Lord Aoshi. I am sorry."

"...Misao, you are letting your anger consume you needlessly." he tried to keep the condescending tone from his voice and almost visibly winced when he could hear it echoing from the walls. This wasn t going as well as he hoped. She was still angry at him for leaving, and he couldn t blame her. It was so deeply rooted she didn t know it herself.

She dropped her hard gaze and hung her head in submission. His words shook her very soul. They meant so many things all at once. Did he know that she loved him? And that she didn t have to worry anymore? Or was he promising that he wouldn t leave again? Or was it just a simple observation he had chosen to voice? Damn the hope she felt! Everything he did gave her hope and despair. She read too much into everything.

"Lord Aoshi, I am sorry I made you bleed."

"Don t change the subject, Misao." His voice had risen to almost a shout and Misao flinched. He could see tears falling off of her nose. Perhaps he had pushed too hard. It was too much too soon.

"Okina and the others are beginning to worry about you and soon they will begin to press you about it." Misao s head snapped up, mouth hung open in surprise. Aoshi was already pressing her about it! There was no way she was reading too much into that.

"Why do you care?" She blurted. Like he was going to answer that. He now had every right to just walk away and never talk to her again. But he didn t. A sadness shadowed his eyes and he began to speak. She listened with strained ears.

"There are many reasons that I would care, Misao. The main one being, I am the cause of your pain. And this is the heaviest burden I have ever had to endure." he could see her blinking her eyes in disbelief. She put her hand to her mouth.

"You don t owe me anything, Lord Aoshi, not even your concern."

"On the contrary Misao, I owe you more than you can imagine. Be patient, Misao." He swallowed the knot that had found its way into his throat. He bowed respectively to a stunned Misao and left the training hall.

Misao sunk to her knees. What the hell just happened? She was too astonished to ran after him. Her lip had been quivering the entire time he spoke and now tears spilled their way onto her cheeks in a great release. She rose after much time and made way to her room. It was getting dark.

She cleaned her tearstained face and stepped out of her training clothes. She donned her sleeping robe and pulled out her futon. She settled into the covers and for the first time in a long time she couldn t wait for tomorrow. ******  
>Aoshi was still trembling by the time he reached the bath house. Why was this taking such a toll on him? He couldn t fathom where the words had came from. As abrupt and surprising as they were, they were true. He truly owed Misao his life. Her name alone was like a beacon of light in the dark haze that was his mind when he was a tortured solider of chaos. News of her tears was a direct blow to his heart, shattering whatever walls he had built around it.<p>

When he had returned, she kept a constant vigil on him. He was never alone because of her. She was always there. Every morning she would stop by his room and make sure he was still there. Sometimes at night he could hear her whimpering from a nightmare and when she would awake she would sit outside his room for the rest of the night. He had realized a long time ago that he was everything to her. Someone still truly needed him. And it scared him when he realized that he needed her too. He loved her... and he could never tell her.

Aoshi dipped into the hot water and listened to the excess drip over the side. Cupping his hands he brought water up to wash the blood from his nose. He tilted his head back and closed his eyes. He knew that this would also need time. He couldn t rush it, especially with Misao. She was still healing from everything he had put her through. He wanted her to forgive him and he resigned himself to ask her tomorrow.

Misao woke with a start, it was almost dawn. She jumped up and ran out of her room. She cut the corners and slowed her run into a stealthy walk. She stepped quietly as she pressed an ear to the paper window. She frowned and realized that Aoshi was not in his room. Her greatest fear came to life. She walked to his door and with a breath of bravado she slid it open.

"Oh no Lord Aoshi " This wasn t right, he must be at the temple already. That MUST be it! His clothes were still there and that was a good sign. She forced herself to stop hyperventilating.

"Good morning, Misao."

"AH!" She jumped and spun around to meet Aoshi s questioning gaze. The bridge of his nose had turned an awful blue color.

"What were you doing?" He questioned her even though he knew damn well what she was doing.

"I.. I uh was just looking for the rat that was in my room he was running away from me and uh I heard him scratching around in your room." Aoshi took to genuine concern.

"A rat? ." Misao shifted nervously and nodded enthusiastically.

"In there.." she said as she pointed into his room.

"Alright, Misao, this is very important."

"Yes, Lord Aoshi." "Are you sure it was a him?" Then he smirked, not smiled but smirked when he saw Misao s face contort with confusion.

"Huh? A.. him?" She realized that Aoshi had made another joke and she slapped her hand to her mouth, trying to quiet the rising giggles.

She was busted.

"Really, Misao, you are a horrible liar. It doesn t become you at all." She stopped laughing when she saw that he was slightly angered at her little fib. Then she was embarrassed. He knew she was sneaking around his room.

"I am sorry, Lord Aoshi. For lying to you." She said bowing slightly.

"Don t do that anymore. It is cowardice to lie. Lying is for thieves and tricksters."

"Yes, Lord Aoshi."

"Good." He turned to leave but Misao couldn t let him yet.

"Lord Aoshi?" she called out to him.

"Yes?" he said as he turned slightly in her direction.

"Why are you up so early?" She said taking her place beside him.

"I had trouble sleeping. Why do you ask?"

"You just scared me, that s all. I thought ." She couldn t tell him that she was scared of him leaving again. That would put pressure on him to stay and that was the last thing she wanted for him.

"You thought I had left again." he stated easily. So easily in fact it annoyed Misao. "To tell you the truth Misao, I don t know how you sleep at all after I left you the way I did." His voice was laced with regret, and sadness. Misao was dumbfounded. She didn t know what to say in response. What could she say?

" ." She couldn t look at his face or his eyes. It was so overwhelming. Why was he doing this? It was confusing her. Aoshi was never one to play games. Why was he being so open all of a sudden with her? She didn t want to question his motives like this, but she couldn t help it. She didn t want to leave herself open for false hope.

He continued to look at her with his usual blank expression. Her eyes danced nervously avoiding his, telling him that it was true. She did indeed still hurt from that night he left her. Abandoned her. She was just a child who trusted him, loved him, looked up to him. It hurt him to see her fidget and tremble at the mere mention of a past event.

He saw that she was too stunned to even speak. Perhaps he started it off a little too aggressive? Why did he feel the need to hurry? Her forgiveness was already apparent, but he had never officially asked for it. No time better than the present is what they say, but she didn t appear to be ready for such a request. Just talking about it paralyzed her. How could he ask for her forgiveness now?

He turned to leave again. To get away from the awkward silence.

Misao felt something in heart stir. He felt bad about leaving her, all those years ago. That is what all of this was about. That much she knew. She also knew that she didn t want to leave his side even for a moment. The last week had been torture with following him around, being near him. Being mad at him. She had missed him terribly. Then courage bloomed in her heart. She leapt toward him her arms reaching out to him.

In her mind she knew what she was doing was improper but she couldn t help it. There was no turning back now. Everything around her stopped. For a moment the universe was still.

Aoshi tried his best not to answer the screaming alarm that went off in his mind when he felt her two arms encircle his waist. The rest of her body followed her arms and he grunted slightly when she wrapped him to her in a furious hold.

Now that she had him, the happiness in her heart soared sky high. Even if he pushed her away and called her childish, it would do nothing to take away what she felt. It wouldn t take away the love she was pouring into it. For just a moment he would have to endure the feel of her heartbeat against his back. She inhaled deeply of his scent and smiled even more. It was the most bittersweet emotion she had ever felt.

Aoshi was beyond shocked. Her grip was powerful and she wasn t going to let go until she was good and ready. What was this warm feeling at his back? It was incredible. The place in his chest, the place where all emotions come from twisted almost painfully. He looked down at her entwined arms through bleary vision. His eyes had watered with tears, though he could not name the emotion he was feeling. It wasn t sadness. No where near it.

It was tangible. He knew it was there, he could feel it. He closed his eyes and savored it. Inhaling deeply. He lifted an arm and placed it on one of Misao s hands. She stirred but only slightly.

" Thank you, Misao." He said, hoping to keep an awkward situation at bay. He didn t want her to feel embarrassed. What she just did opened something inside of him. He knew what she was trying to say. She was telling him that she loved him, no matter what. Even if he didn t return her feelings, she would still love him, shamelessly. Brave girl. No, brave woman. He always knew she was most free spirited of all his comrades. This was the Misao he knew.

Brave and fearless, if only he could be like her. The irony struck him and couldn t help but smile. Unfortunately, his back was toward her and she would never know.

He felt her grip relax slowly at first, then she backed away from him, taking her warmth with her. He almost tightened the grip on her hand but instead let her guide him. It caused him to turn towards her blushing face. She was smiling with her lips tightly pressed together. A meek, shy, embarrassed little smile lined her red face.

He was holding her hand!

She found her voice finally.

"You are welcome, Lord Aoshi." She smiled broadly at the fact he was blushing too. His eyes definitely looked different. They danced in the early sunlight reflecting the emotion in his voice when he said thank you.

Then he bowed after releasing her hand and turned to walk away. She just smiled after he left. He let her hug him! Something she had been wanting to do for so long but felt so out of reach.

She took a very deep breath to calm herself and reminded herself, not to get too hopeful. She was the leader of the Oniwaban now, she couldn t get sidetracked with this any longer. She had been neglecting her duties as leader for long enough. She headed to the workroom where reports were piling up. *********

Aoshi opened his eyes when he felt his stomach twist in hunger. Truth was, he was getting agitated with meditating hours ago. It wasn t helping the pressing need he felt inside. The need to hurry and rush. With what, he had no idea. Perhaps he was getting restless again with this peaceful life. No, that wasn t it. He was content and calm for the first time in his life. But soul searching and meditating wasn t filling the gap he felt. It wasn t mending the confusion he was feeling now. Perhaps, because it involved someone else besides him.

Misao.

"Aoshi!" exclaimed Omasu, when he came to eat again for the second time that week. Misao still wasn t bringing him lunch. She would have to yell at her later for it!

"Have you seen Misao today?" Everyone s mouths dropped and regarded Aoshi as if he had grown a second head. He had been rather inquisitive about Misao the past few days.

"Last time I saw her she was in the workroom reading reports." Okina offered.

"Excuse me." Aoshi said bowing before he left. ******

He had called her name three times and she didn t respond. What was she doing? He slid open the door to find a sleeping Misao. Her head was laying on the papers and she was snoring lightly. It was obvious she wasn t getting any sleep lately. She didn t even wake up to him calling her name.

The moment his foot crossed the threshold her head snapped up and her fingers were armed with her kunai.

"Oh, its you, Lord Aoshi." She said as she relaxed. Then to her horror she felt a piece of paper sticking to the side of her face. Seemingly glued there by the drool on her face. She laughed meekly as she pulled it off.

He strode closer to her testing the question in his mind. Oblivious to her embarrassment.

"Misao, have you eaten?"

"No, Lord Aoshi." Nothing could have prepared her for what he said next.

"Would you join me and the others for lunch?" His voice playing at its usual monotone. His eyes however spoke volumes of his evident need of her company.

How lucky can one girl get?

*Don t get so damn hopeful!* she thought over and over again. He was just returning the favor. Nothing more. He wanted to repay her kindness. That s it.

"Misao?" He said after her momentary silence.

"Yes!" she said rather loudly. So much for hiding her apparent eagerness. "..um that would be great." ******

Misao couldn t be happier. A week had passed since she had attacked Aoshi with a hug. Ever since then, he started to behave differently. Misao felt his presence all the time now, like her own shadow. From time to time he went to the temple to meditate, but never for too long. He started to eat with the rest of them. Okina and the others were so pleased.

He was getting better.

He had been having conversation with them during their meals, sometimes making jokes, that only Misao would laugh at.

It was starting to rain and Aoshi had gone to the temple only a few moments ago. Misao laid down the report she was reading and gathered the umbrellas. It was certainly raining season. It had rained at least once a day for the past two months. She turned around only to face someone s body blocking her own. It was Aoshi.

She looked up at him and saw that his features were unusually taunt. Like he was angry but, it was something else. He was tense.

"Lord Aoshi, what s wrong? Why aren t you at the temple?" she said awkwardly holding the umbrellas.

"It started to rain." he stated simply. Misao studied his eyes, his features.

"That has never stopped you before." She said hoping to get him to tell her what he really wanted to say.

"True."

Misao almost rolled her eyes in frustration. He wasn t going to tell her. He was going to begin to say something, then stop. Then he was going to leave the room. He had done that so many times during the week. This time wasn t any different.

"I guess you ll be needing one of these, right?" she said handing him one of the umbrellas.

"No, I won t be going to the temple today."

"Why not?" He was really acting strange today.

"You are asking a lot of questions."

"I am sorry, Lord Aoshi." Damn it. He isn t going to say anything, he is just going to make himself a place to sit and read reports with her again. She set down the umbrellas and turned back to the pile of reports. She sunk to her knees and took up reading again. He didn t follow her lead, instead he just stood there. Looking at her.

"You are angry again, why?" he said after staring at her for what seemed to be an eternity.

"Look who is asking all the questions now." She smirked at him. "..but if you must know, you are irritating me." He stared at her in question, wanting her to tell him why.

"And you have no idea why. Do you, Lord Aoshi? I doubt that very much. In any case, I would rather have your presence, than your absence. So please sit down, Lord Aoshi."

"I prefer to stand." He could see Misao stifle a growl of annoyance.

".. Suit yourself. Do you want me to read these reports aloud to you?"

"No."

"Then what do you want, Lord Aoshi?" He was trying her patience. Pushing her limits.

"To speak with you, on a personal matter. May I?"

"Yes, Please, Speak!" she said almost throwing her hands up in frustration. Then with a start she realized that he had used the word, personal. What is going on with him now?

"I have been stalling this for long enough." He paused for a moment, looking for the right words to say. Misao resisted the urge to strangle him. She sat as calmly as she could. Waiting.

"Actually, for the last year I have been stalling." His eyes narrowed for a moment, as though he were wincing with pain. Misao noticed this and sat back, relaxing her tense pose. Whatever he had to say was very important to him. She forced herself to ease her anticipation. Again she waited.

Did he want his place as Leader again? Did he think she wasn t good enough for the job? Would he want to challenge her soon?

"Misao, I have come here to humbly ask for your forgiveness. For a very long I have been torn apart with the guilt of leaving you to pursue my own selfish goals." Aoshi slowly walked toward her until he stood directly in front of her. She was astounded, too stunned to speak. In her heart she wanted to tell him to stop. There was no need for this. She had already forgiven him.

Hadn t she? Couldn't he tell?

"I have also felt guilt for neglecting you while I catered to myself, all the while knowing you were so worried about me. Not once did I thank you for all of your efforts." He proceeded to kneel, "Misao, will you please forgive me?" Then he bowed until his hands and forehead touched the floor.

He was sorry! He knew that it was wrong, and now he wanted to make it right. So that is why he had been acting so strange. He was being smothered with guilt.

Misao tried hard to keep the tears from streaming down her face, but to see her Lord Aoshi, bowing to her. It was more than she could bare. He shouldn t be doing this.

Not for her.

She was just standing in for him until he got better. Not only that, he was making her feel hope like never before.

"Lord Aoshi, please don t do that.." her voice was broken while she sobbed, " there is no need. I have forgiven you a thousand times over. Please get up.." She leaned over to pull up on his shoulders and her tears landed on his dark straight hair. Finally, he pushed himself up, leveling his somber gaze with her tearful eyes. Her hands were still on his shoulders. Their foreheads were almost touching.

She reacted as she wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face into his neck. She wanted to cry, she wanted to be strong.

"I have missed you so much, Lord Aoshi." She clutched at him as she drew her body closer to his. "Please, don t feel guilty anymore. I won t have it!"

Aoshi wasn t prepared for such an emotional out burst from her. He wasn t ready for her tears either. He could feel her warm breath and wet tears on his neck. Her body shook when she breathed. His arms hung loosely at his sides, but his heart was screaming to hold her, and soothe her. Why couldn t he? What was stopping him?

He was afraid. He was never afraid of anything in his whole life.

But.

This little snip of a girl, this woman, scared him more than anything he had ever encountered in his lifetime.

Then he felt her push away from him. She buried her face into her hands.

"I am sorry, Lord Aoshi. That is twice I behaved foolishly. I must have made you uncomfortable." She stood quickly and ran out of the room, carelessly into the rain. Aoshi stood quickly to go after her. She wasn t embarrassed, she was hurt by his rejection. He didn t hold her back. And it hurt her.

Her tracks stopped short of the work room and disappeared. Because of the rain Aoshi had trouble listening for her. Then he heard a slight discord on the roof. A shingle had fallen off. She was on the roof. Aoshi looked up, blinking sporadically as the rain pounded at his eyes. He took a step back and jumped.

He couldn t see her, she must have jumped off when the shingle fell.

Where was she now?

He walked on the shingles carefully until he reached the side. He peered over to look between the buildings. There she was with her back pressed against wall seeing if he had left the workroom. When she saw that he had she knew he was nearby. She hastily looked up and saw his perplexed features staring back at her. He leapt down and landed beside her. She turned to run but he grabbed her arm. It almost slipped from his grasp because of the rain, but he kept a tight hold on her.

"Why are you even bothering with me?" She said, yelling above the crashing rain.

"Because I wasn t finished yet."

"What is there left to say?"

"I love you, Misao." Why did those words always manage to come when he least expected them too? That was the name of the emotion he felt when he was with her. It was a name to the stab at his heart when she cried. It was the name of the road he now must take with her by his side, if she would have him.

"As a daughter!" She said when she tried to jerk away from him. Getting angry at him for making her hopes peak at their highest. She had to pull it back down before she got hurt.

His grip tightened and he grabbed her other arm, making her face him. She was about to lash out at him. Being this close to him hurt so much. To be so near, but no where close to her dream. He only saw her as a little girl. It will always be like that.

Always.

Anger welled up inside of her and she opened her mouth to scream.

" mmph "

Aoshi was kissing her! He had jerked her toward him and covered her mouth with his lips! Aoshi would never kiss someone he loved as a daughter like this. He was making himself crystal clear. He loved her, as a man loves a woman. It was all she could do to stay conscious.

His kiss was deep and passionate. His lips feeling hers, his tongue lightly tasting her lips.

The rain slipped between their faces, dripping off of their chins. The lightening crashed and thunder soon boomed afterward. Only then did Aoshi loosen his grip on her arms and reach his hands up to cup her face. With one last taste he drew away from her.

Her hand clutched at her chest as though she were trying to physically slow her heart. Her breathing had become erratic and her eyes looked deeply into his.

He was blushing and his eyes were dancing but he still kept his serious fa ade.

"Lord Aoshi .is this a dream?"

"No, Misao, this is a moment seized. Now go change into some dry clothes. You are soaking wet and it is time for dinner." She was so shocked she could barely hear his voice. She nodded shakily and bounded away from him, leaving him alone in the rain. 


	5. Chapter 5

AN: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin. This is for entertainment only. Enjoy.

As she ran, she wondered what had happened to make him act on these feeling. A moment seized? What was he talking about? It was too good to be true. Throughout most of her life when something this good came along it was usually short lived and highly disappointing. She couldn t let herself believe it. There must be more to it. He must be after something.

*****  
>When he saw her reaction, he realized that she didn t believe him. She looked more afraid than pleased.<p>

The rain was cold at his back causing him to shiver. For some reason he felt rejected. She didn t say anything to lead him to that conclusion, but the look on her face when he had kissed her shook his resolve. What could be going through her mind?

It didn t go the way he planned. His only objective for their conversation was to ask her to forgive him. How did it go so far, so fast? So much for going slow. He couldn t help it though. The day before while he was meditating an enlightening notion came to him.

Moments were the scale of time. It wasn t days, months, or years. A single moment was all it took to change something. While his eyes were closed, while he was sitting away, they were passing him by. And Misao was seizing her moments time and time again. Bravely and without regret. If he were to die he would know without a doubt how Misao felt about him, where as Misao had been kept in the dark. It wasn t fair to her when she gave him everything, so much that words were rarely needed between them. It was long past due for her to KNOW exactly how he felt about her.

He made way to his room, to change clothes.

He could recall the moment his paternal love for her became something more.

It was the day he attacked Okina. The door had opened the moment he dealt his blow to the old man. It had all happened so quickly. Right before he cut through Okina s flesh he heard her. Misao calling out to both of them. He knew her voice, no matter how much age had changed it. Within the moment he lessoned his powerful attack. Just because he heard the sound of her voice.

He glanced very quickly at her intrusion. She was smiling, she had no idea that the deed was done. That is until Okina collapsed in a pool of his own blood. Then her face twisted in absolute horror. He had to look away.

She had grown considerably, her face had taken to a beautiful shape. Her hair had grown longer and she kept it tied back in the usual braid. It was no wonder he could barely recognize her. If the situation had been radically different, she would have caused his blood to stir.

"Why? Lord Aoshi?"

Her voice had even changed, but it still triggered memories of her laughter, memories of good times. Peaceful times.

Then his insides turned to ice. Suddenly she became a threat. An obstacle to his dream, and a reminder of who he truly was. She was a weakness. He grew angry at her.

"I never want to see your face again."

Even through his hardened heart, her face, her voice, her mere presence weakened his very resolve. As he walked away, the memory of her tender face stubbornly followed. During quiet moments his thoughts would always settle on her sad face, her look of betrayal.

She knew the situation, yet she still called out to the both of them that day.

Why would she do that?

He knew why, and it touched him, deep inside. Even though he shoved it aside, it would always be there.

She loved him and he could never run fast enough. He could never hide enough. He could never do bad things enough.

Aoshi shook his head, dispelling the memory. How could he have ever thought of her as a weakness? It was selfish and wrong. He was his own weakness, quickly placing blame on others.

This time though, he wasn t going to walk away. He wasn t going to run from a situation just because it was getting complicated. He knew that she loved him. That was all he needed to know.

He wasn t afraid anymore. *******

Dinner had become awkward. Misao and Aoshi were not participating in the conversation. They were casting obvious glances toward one another. Aoshi looked perplexed, while Misao looked torn and tired. Okina had already sensed a certain tension between the two the moment they walked in. He hurriedly ate his meal and left, saying goodnight. The others followed his lead beautifully.

Soon they were completely alone, Aoshi was the first to speak.

"Misao, is there something on your mind?"

"OF COURSE .of course there is!" she said restraining the volume of her voice. How could he act as though nothing had happened?

"What game are you playing at, Lord Aoshi?"

"Game?" He said directing a scornful gaze at Misao. He couldn t believe what she was implying.

"Yes, game. What are you trying to get from me?" Aoshi s mouth had dropped. Could she really be that dense? Why couldn t she believe him? But then he remembered why and choked back his rising anger. She was protecting herself, like he used to do.

"Do you hear yourself, Misao? When did you get so paranoid?"

"When I had to become Leader. When you came back. When you told me you loved me. Take your pick."

"Misao, stop, before you say something you can never take back."

"You have no idea how much " She said throwing out her arms.

"Misao! Not . Another .Word." He said loudly, accenting every word. You could see her visibly bite her tongue when she shut her mouth.

"You have me terribly mistaken. You have become so frightened of me that you have managed to twist the reality into something it is not. I have no hidden agendas. I knew what I was saying." Why did her suspicions hurt his very pride so much? Was he going about this all wrong?

"But I am so scared ." she started.

"As I was, Misao." He stood, towering over a sitting Misao. She looked up at him, wanting to speak but she couldn t. What could she say?

"Goodnight, Misao." He bowed and left her to her thoughts.

She tried to sleep but his words echoed throughout her head. He had no agenda. She was understandably afraid of him. He wanted her to throw her fear into the abyss. He wanted her trust him again. He may not have said those exact words but the meaning was there all the same.

He said he had seized a moment when he kissed her. It was the best moment of her life. She couldn t have dreamed it any better. She realized she hadn t told him she loved him in return. He wasn t pressing her to either. He already knew. Nevertheless, she was sure he would want to hear it.

The guilt for questioning him was beginning to press into her heart. Almost painfully. Then she felt the tears welling up in her eyes. How could she be so callous? So cruel? She threw the covers off of her body and made her way to Aoshi s room. Hopefully, he would still be awake. When she stepped outside, she realized how late it had become.

There was faint candle light coming from his room. He couldn t sleep either, it seemed. She stepped outside of his room and rose her hand to rap on the door. Before she could loose her nerve the door slid open. There he stood with apparent surprise. He was wearing his simple bed robe, and Misao averted her gaze.

"I am glad I didn t have to wake you." she said quickly and quietly. She didn t want to wake anyone else.

"Misao?" His voice sounding very concerned. What would bring Misao to his room at such an hour? There was something very different about her. It was alluring and almost sexual but he couldn t place what it was.

"I can t sleep." she said helplessly as she smiled. Aoshi stepped aside and motioned for her to enter.

He kneeled across from her and sat on his heels. Misao followed his motions.

"I wanted to tell you something." She stopped to gather her courage.

"I love you, Aoshi. I just wanted you to hear me say it, that s all." She smiled at him. Waiting for his reaction. He sighed as though he were relieved. His eyes were warm and a smile teased at his lips. He lifted his hand to touch her face.

"I am glad." He smirked. He looked so boyish. He really looked happy. Misao was so relieved. She was making him happy! How exciting!

She leaned into his gentle caress. Then she reached up to take his hands into her own. She kissed his finger tips as she looked at him lovingly. It had been ages since she wanted to do that! Now she could. It felt so wonderful.

"I should be going. I will see you tomorrow." She released her hold on his hand and as she stood she saw disappointment flicker across Aoshi s face. She knew it was no mistake for she felt the same disappointment stir with in herself.

"Goodnight, Aoshi."

"Goodnight, my lady Misao." She couldn t help but smile. He already made references to her, belonging to him. She bowed and turned toward the door. Everything was as it should be now. Or was it? Why did she feel so unsatisfied? She pulled the door open and dropped her hand to her side.

Why should she go? She was going to see him tomorrow. But that was tomorrow, it seemed so far away at the moment. She didn t want to miss him again. How strange! She was so entangled in her thoughts she didn t hear Aoshi step up behind her.

When he saw her turn around to leave it finally hit him. Why she seemed different. Her usually braided hair was down and combed out. For some reason his blood began to boil at the sight. When he realized that she was just standing there, not moving, not breathing, he was seized with the need to touch her flowing strands of ebony. He stood, intent on seizing another moment for himself.

"What is it?" he said, ripping her from her thoughts.

"I can t leave." She said almost feebly. She could almost feel his warmth at her back, and the gentle tugs at her hair as he played his fingers against the dark strands.

"Then don t." He leaned forward gripping the door handle, slowly sliding the door shut. 


	6. Chapter 6

AN:I do not own Rurouni is for entertainment only. LEMON ALERT!

When Misao heard the door shut completely she inhaled slowly, letting out a shaky breath. She wasn t scared. Not in the least. She trusted him, with everything. In her mind flashed her secret dreams. Dreams of being with Aoshi, like this. Being a woman in his eyes, not a child. To feel him play with her hair with a lovers touch. She closed her eyes as her dream played out.

Aoshi could feel the heat radiating from her. Her breathless sighs cueing to her arousal. The dark corner of his mind rang out in alarm.

*She is so young, barely 18.*

*I love her.*

*She doesn t know what she is doing, what she is getting herself into.*

*She isn t ignorant.*

*You don t deserve her.*

*She has chosen me regardless.*

She turned around and stared into his eyes, all the while untying her sash. She pulled the collar away from her shoulders and let the robe fall to the ground. Aoshi calmly scanned her figure. She had some scars, but they were rather small. None were like his, for which he was thankful. Her body was very much a woman s now. She was very muscular. Her breast were small but full and supple. Her hips had filled out considerably. She was very pleasing to his eyes.

She was seizing her moment once again and she wanted him to join her. She walked to him, his arms reaching around her, cocooning her. Her skin was hot to the touch, and he felt the softness of her breast as they brushed against his stomach. She snuggled closer to him.

"Make love to me, Aoshi." she asked or rather commanded. He was stunned for a moment. He stood there with her, his mind searching in circles.

Never in his life had he ever felt so stuck. He wanted to more than anything and he knew he could but did that mean he should? He loved her and she loved him. He could announce marriage afterward. They would share the title of Leader.

Okina wouldn t object. Nor would the others. For the longest time they played match maker with the two of them, much to his dismay.

His actions were a direct impression of his heart. But the others would be disappointed in him for not announcing anything, for behaving like a hot-blooded devil. The thin walls at the Aoiya held no secrets. They would hear, they would know.

If he was having so many doubts perhaps he needed to rethink his decision? Just a moment ago he was ready, but now now he was confused. Damn it.

Misao pulled her arms around his waist, "I love you, Aoshi." her voice was sad, like she was lost and he was her only way.

Should he refuse her? He moved his hand up to her neck and gently pulled her head back so that he could see her eyes. They took his breath away. They were open to her very soul when she peered at him. Slightly confused, but determined.

He wanted her. He needed her. "Are you certain?"

"Aoshi, this is my dream. I am not afraid. Make me yours tonight." She smiled and pulled her arms around his neck. Drawing his lips closer to hers. How could he deny her wish? Her dream?

The gate that kept his passions at bay broke open. All doubts were forgotten. The only thing that mattered to him, was marking her as his own.

Something inside of him clicked, something very primordial. It was need of this woman who stood before him. To lay claim on her. So much time had been wasted. No more.

Misao was startled for a moment when he roughly grabbed her arms and pulled her up to face him. She found herself aroused by the gesture.

"I apologize now for any pain I cause you." Misao only had an instant to be confused for he quickly rushed her to his futon and smothered the lamp beside his bed. They were in complete darkness but she could feel his presence. She could hear his position. He was removing his robe. Then before she knew it his hands grabbed her knees, spreading them apart.

He settled between them but instead of lying upon her he grabbed her arms and hooked them behind his head and reached down to her hips, hoisting her up to sit on his bended knees. He crushed her to him, as tightly as he could, his lips plucking at hers. Tasting her roughly, and she met his passion with a ferociousness of her own. Her nails dug deeply into his back, desperately hanging to him.

Under the guise of darkness, they felt and touched. Breathed and smelled of each other. Listened and heard raging heartbeats. The darkness was their element. As ninjas they could see one another as if it were day light. Each touch brought upon an image, every sigh an expression, every kiss an emotion, a feeling.

She sighed loudly when he lavished her neck and ears with his lips, his warm breath sending shivers through her. His hands twisted into her long hair and he pulled so he could ravish the hollow in her neck. She gingerly obliged, her mouth open in a wordless cry.

Her secret dreams were small compared to the reality of being in his arms, allowed to kiss him, allowed to tempt him. Allowed to be a woman. She ran her hands up his back into his hair and felt through the thin soft strands. She lowered her head and softly inhaled, taking in a smell that was only Aoshi. Her love.

She hooked her legs behind him and pressed herself even closer. Aoshi became painfully aware of the depth his arousal when he could feel her damp curls teasing against him. He was surprised at her boldness.

He wrapped his arms around her and lowered her to the ground, just as her back touched the futon he entered her, swiftly. Taking her cry of pain into his mouth.

He had quickly and without warning took her innocence. She doubted that she could have prepared for the stinging pain, but she promised herself she wouldn t cry out. She was strong. But when the sting of loss came to pass, she felt as though something inside had been torn, severed, never to be mended again. She mourned that loss for a moment as silent tears flowed from her clenched eyes.

Aoshi stopped all motions, the reality of what was happening slamming into him at the sound of Misao s whimper. It was an odd emotion. He was both glad and saddened. She was his now at such a price. He could sense a dull pain at his back and realized she had drawn blood from the shock of her pain. He smiled inwardly, he expected no less from her.

"I love you, Aoshi." she whispered into the darkness.

"I know." He kissed her gently, and wiped away her tears. She wrapped herself around him, and pressed into him. She was alright now. He could continue.

He was only too happy to oblige. He slowly moved at a steady pace, intently listening to Misao s breathing. Making sure she wasn t crying anymore.

Soon afterward, her stifled breath, became short sighs. Every time he filled her she gasped aloud, as though she were catching her breath. He could tell she was holding her voice back, only letting her breath pass through her throat. He could only imagine what sounds she would be making otherwise. The thought aroused him more so.

Sex was certainly a strange thing! He had never need of women during his life as a warrior, but now he felt as though he couldn t live without the feel of Misao writhing beneath him, whispering his name. How very strange that she was his first and last. For a man of twenty seven years, it was certainly odd.

She felt so warm around him. Like he was bathing and he could breath the water. Flowing and ebbing with every heartbeat. Her whispers called on to him like spirits, worshiped him like a god. He never felt so much like a man as he did now. Even while defeating his foes left and right, he had never felt a rush quite like this. To be held by a woman. Not just any woman, a woman who loved him. A woman he loved. Not many men had such an opportunity as this. How lucky was he?

Their bodies slid among each other growing damp with sweat and humidity from the growing storm outside. The rain began and their strangled breaths grew louder, using the rain as cover. Lighting flashed in the sky and lit the shadows of her elated face. Aoshi kept his gaze steadily at her eyes. Wanting to watch her pleasure. It pleased him to know he was causing it.

Misao could not focus. So many emotions filled her now. Happiness, desire, passion, joy, apprehension and love. She lost her self in the moment, feeling her body responding so strongly to him. What power he held over her!

"Aoshi!" she cried aloud, feeling utterly complete and satisfied. Aoshi quickly realized that she probably woke up everyone just then, but he didn t care. They would find out sooner or later and he gave it no second thought.

She felt him stiffen and looked up into his eyes. But he still beheld her with the same feral gaze. So much was being said in that moment, without a word being uttered. She felt something warm within her womb, filling her, caressing her. It was his seed. Misao quickly realized that he chose to take the chance. That is what he was telling her with his serious expression. She was his now. Forever.

Tears slipped from her eyes like jewels as she held him. She could see his lips quivering when the lighting struck. His breathing was calm but his eyes held an expression Misao had never seen before. It was complete awe. His blue eyes looked upon her as if she were something holy. As if he had found something he had been searching for. His purpose.

" .Misao ."

Now if she could only make him smile.  
>************<p>

During the night, they made love time and time again. Even as they slept, their bodies still clung to one another. Even in sleep, they would wake to make love again. As tired as they were, they dare not stop. Could not stop. The moment was there, it belonged to them.

Early in the morning Misao had to relieve herself and came back to Aoshi s sleeping form. She slipped underneath the covers and he barely woke. He pulled her into his arms and sleepily nuzzled into her ear. She smiled. Loving the feeling of his skin against hers. Then he spoke in a low and hushed voice.

"Misao, do you regret this?"

"No, but I do wish I would have come a lot earlier. The sun is almost up." she said sadly, tiredly, barely keeping her eyes open. She felt Aoshi scoff at her humor. He pulled her closer and breathed deep and slowly. She felt him sit up leaving her to deal with the chill alone. She pulled the covers tightly around her shoulders.

"Wake up, Misao."

"I don t think I can, even if I tried." she moaned. Her legs were sore, among other things!

"Breakfast is ready." He said when he smelled the smoke from the fire in the kitchen. He pulled on his temple robe realizing that Misao had nothing to wear besides her bed robe.

"I am not hungry." He bent down and grabbed the cover from her.

"Hey!" she said shrinking into a tight ball. Actually managing to go back to sleep. Her hair was a mess! But she looked so damn sexy that way. He threw her bed robe on her naked body.

"Get up, put that on." He said pulling at her arms. Finally she stirred after giving Aoshi a look that could kill. It didn t faze him in the least. She pulled her arms through the sleeves and stood up stretching her legs and back.

"Misao, come here." he said motioning with his hand. She stood groggily in front of him and he placed his hands on her shoulders and spun her around. He began raking his fingers through her hair, combing out the tangles he made the night before.

"Do you know how to braid, Aoshi?"

"No, but all you need for now is to bind it back. You can braid it later." After he was finished, which took a while, he looped a holder in her hair and tightened it. She looked much better, not so roughed up.

"Perhaps, you should get some clothes and meet me for breakfast." He stated with his famous mono tone. Misao nodded in agreement while she tied her sash. Aoshi made his way to the door and opened it.

"What are we going to tell the others, Aoshi?"

He turned to her with an amused expression, "Don t worry, they already know."

"How do you ." She started but was cut off short when she saw all of her belongings on Aoshi s front porch.

"Good morning, you two!" Okina said cheerfully, as if it were an everyday occurrence.

"Good morning, Okina." Aoshi said as he bowed. Behaving as though it was as it should be.

"Come join me for breakfast, we have much to talk about!" Okina said scampering off, leaving a stunned Misao and an amused Aoshi.


End file.
